An Important Ingredient

Last week I went to a couple’s event. Given that I went without my husband, I sat in the back, which provided a great view to make some observations about all the couples who were present. I noticed one couple sat cozily in the arms of each other on the second row, the husband’s arm was around his wife’s shoulder, and the wife’s hand on her husband’s lap listened attentively to everything that was said. They laugh at every joke, and from time to time shared intimate look with each other. Further back on the fifth row sat another couple who seemed to have an invisible person between them, that’s how far apart they were sitting. They were so serious and rigid in their look almost to the point of sadness. They looked as if the event was their last effort to rekindle whatever that was left between them. They listened with a different kind of attentiveness, barely looked at each other, and not even shared a quick smile. As I scanned through the room looking at different couples, their reactions and body languages, it saddens me to see such a difference in “love” expression.

 All of us who are in a serious relationship can remember the first time we met the “one”. Each of us could describe the clothes, the food, the place, or whatever that created an impact during that time and made that moment so special. However, it seems as time goes on, each of us experiences different setbacks that either slow down the train or drive it too rapidly. For some of us, we do not even remember what happened; we simply become the couple with the invisible third party sitting in the middle.

Everyone seems to have a recipe to maintain a relationship: communication, laughter, honesty, truth, money… to name a few. But no matter what the recipe may be, one should remember the ingredients that made it work in the first place. So I was thinking about the couples at my event. What made them different from each other? Sure the hardship of life can play a major role in our relationship, but could it be that one couple simply keeps their recipe going as a tradition and not the other?

When we are in a relationship, we pledge something to each other. I believe what makes us different from others is the grateful heart attitude. It is not that we do not endure hardship, or that we do not want to call it quit at some point, or that we do not become tired, but to be grateful toward each other can overcome many mountains and chase away the invisible person sitting in the middle.

©2012 Natacha Michel